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The problem is that — lets say she got pregnant that day, that day — nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath — Fast-forward two years, more often — and as Ive seen it — women start thinking about this way earlier — when they get engaged, or married, when they start thinking about having a child, which can take a long time. One woman came to see me about this. She looked a little young. And I said, “So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?” And she said, “Oh no, Im not married.” She didnt even have a boyfriend.
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See, us kids are going to ansatically be happy and healthy.
es doe from Dr. Roger e of those parents like mine counted it as one of the reasons they felt confident to pull their kids from traditional school to try something different. I realized Im part of this small, but groputer hacker, he hacked skiing. His creativity and inventions made skiing munity, and through a net around the nation, and that sparked my love of e basic physics concepts like kinetic energy through experimenting and making mistakes.
My favorite munity organizations play a big part in my education, High Fives Foundations Basics program being aizing hats and selling them. The people cliff-to-cliff. Skiing to me is freedom, and so is my education, its about being creative; doing things differently, its about community and helping each other. Its about being happy and healthy among my very best friends.
So Im starting to think, I know what I might want to do when I grow up, but if you ask me what do I want to be when I grow up? Ill always know that I want to be happy. Thank you.
I said, “Youre thinking about this just way too early.” But the point is that what happens once you start kind of quietly leaning back? Everyone whos been through this — and Im here to tell you, once you have a child at home, your job better be really good to go back, because its hard to leave that kid at home. Your job needs to be challenging. It needs to be rewarding. You need to feel like youre making a difference. And if two years ago you didnt take a promotion and some guy next to you did, if three years ago you stopped looking for new opportunities,youre going to be bored because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal. Dont leave before you leave. Stay in. Keep your foot on the gas pedal, until the very day you need to leave to take a break for a child — and then make your decisions. Dont make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones youre not even conscious youre making.
In 20_ — not so long ago — a professor who was then at Columbia University took that case and made it [Howard] Roizen. And he gave the case out, both of them, to two groups of students. He changed exactly one word: “Heidi” to “Howard.” But that one word made a really big difference. He then surveyed the students,（) and the good news was the students, both men and women, thought Heidi and Howard were equally competent, and thats good.The bad news was that everyone liked Howard. Hes a great guy. You want to work for him. You want to spend the day fishing with him. But Heidi? Not so sure. Shes a little out for herself. Shes a little political.Youre not sure youd want to work for her. This is the complication. We have to tell our daughters and our colleagues, we have to tell ourselves to believe we got the A, to reach for the promotion, to sit at the table, and we have to do it in a world where, for them, there are sacrifices they will make for that, even though for their brothers, there are not. The saddest thing about all of this is that its really hard to remember this. And Im about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me, but I think important.
My generation really, sadly, is not going to change the numbers at the top. Theyre just not moving. We are not going to get to where 50 percent of the population — in my generation, there will not be 50 percent of [women] at the top of any industry. But Im hopeful that future generations can. I think a world where half of our countries and our companies were run by women, would be a better world. Its not just because people would know where the womens bathrooms are, even though that would be very helpful.I think it would be a better world. I have two children. I have a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter. I want my son to have a choice to contribute fully in the workforce or at home, and I want my daughter to have the choice to not just succeed, but to be liked for her accomplishments.
I think the cause is more complicated. I think, as a society, we put more pressure on our boys to succeedthan we do on our girls. I know men that stay home and work in the home to support wives with careers,and its hard. When I go to the Mommy-and-Me stuff and I see the father there, I notice that the other mommies dont play with him. And thats a problem, because we have to make it as important a job,because its the hardest job in the world to work inside the home, for people of both genders, if were going to even things out and let women stay in the workforce. Studies show that households with equal earning and equal responsibility also have half the divorce rate.And if that wasnt good enough motivation for everyone out there, they also have more — how shall I say this on this stage?
They know each other more in the biblical sense as well. Message number three: Dont leave before you leave. I think theres a really deep irony to the fact that actions women are taking — and I see this all the time — with the objective of staying in the workforceactually lead to their eventually leaving. Heres what happens: Were all busy. Everyones busy. A womans busy. And she starts thinking about having a child, and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child, she starts thinking about making room for that child. “How am I going to fit this into everything else Im doing?” And literally from that moment, she doesnt raise her hand anymore, she doesnt look for a promotion, she doesnt take on the new project, she doesnt say, “Me. I want to do that.” She starts leaning back.