BUYING A HAT
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!" To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"
买帽子
一位妇女到一家帽子店买帽子。她很挑剔，用了很长时间才选好了一顶。已经忍耐到极限的售货员害怕她再改变主意，便恭维她："你做了极好的选择，夫人。你戴上这顶帽子看上去起码年轻十岁!"但令他沮丧的是，这位女士马上摘下了她的帽子说："我不想要一顶摘下来便使我立刻显得老十岁的帽子。多拿一些帽子给我看看!
Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old.
Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again.
After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket.
But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?”
“No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”
汤姆是个小孩， 他才7岁。
当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。他买了张票进去了。 但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。
几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。 接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。
一个女的问她，“你为什么要买那么多票啊? 你见到了几个朋友?"
"没有， 我里面没朋友， 但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了"
老板最大
There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000.
The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That‟s so expensive for this kindof parrot.”
The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.”
So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?”
The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That‟s why he‟s so expensive.”
Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?”
The owner of the shopsaid, “I don‟t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him „The Boss.‟”
有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元，另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。
顾客问老板：「为什么这只要卖五千元?这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了!」
老板说：「因为我有训练他讲话。」
顾客又问：「那这只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」
老板说：「他除了会说话之外，还会表演一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。」
顾客接着又问：「那第三只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」
老板说：「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌，也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有!不过另外两只叫他：『老板!』
牧童和狼
A Shepherd-boy, who tended his flock not far from a village, used to amuse himself at times in crying out"wolf !wolf!"Twice or thrice his trick succeeded .The whole village came running out to his assistance when all the return they got was to be laughed at for their pains .At last one day the wolf came indeed .The boy cried out in earnest. But his neighbors, supposing him to be at his old sport, paid no heed to his cries, and the wolf devoured the sheep. So the boy learned, when it was too late, that liars are not believed even when they tell the truth.
一个放羊的孩子在离村子不远的地方放羊。他为了开心寻乐常喊："狼来了!狼来了!"他的恶作剧有两三次达到了目的。全村的人都跑来帮忙，而他们所得到的回报却是一顿嘲笑，白费了心力。最后，有一天狼真的来了。这个孩子认真地大喊起来。但是他的邻人们却以为他又在耍把戏，谁都不理会他的喊叫，于是狼把羊吃了。因此这牧童得到了教训：爱说谎的人，甚至在他说真话的时候，也没人相信他，但是他知道得太晚了。